


New Beginnings

by ItsLexDuh



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gun Violence, Gunshot Wounds, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Not Beta Read, Pre-Canon, SHIELD Daddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4411262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsLexDuh/pseuds/ItsLexDuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Phil buy their first apartment together and it causes Nick to remember how he and Phil began.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dazzledfirestar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazzledfirestar/gifts).



"Are we really doing this?"

Nick took a deep breath. He concentrated on his surroundings. He concentrated on the feel of the antique wood floor underneath his feet. He concentrated on the smell of fresh paint. He concentrated on the dull voices of people on the street going to and from their Saturday errands. 

"Yeah, we're really doing this", Nick said, turning to Phil. 

Phil smiled, a twinkle in his eye. Nick knew that look.

“No, no, no”, Nick exclaimed.

Before Nick could stop him Phil made a break for the bedroom.

“Your Cap shield prototype is not going in our bedroom!” Nick yelled. He took three large steps to make his way from the kitchen to the bedroom. 

He found Phil standing facing one of the large walls in their first shared bedroom. He could tell Phil was already picturing the shield prototype he stole from Stark years ago, hanging over their bed.

“It...is...not...happening”, Nick said, emphasizing every word.

“Oh, so we should just leave decorating our first apartment together up to you?” Phil asked. “I love you, but you have horrible taste and we both know it”.

“You are such a jerk!”, Nick said in mock offense. 

He went to playfully punch Phil in the arm, but Phil moved out of the way. Nick stumbled forward from the momentum and before Phil could move again, Nick grabbed his pant leg. They both ended up on the floor moaning in pain and then laughing.

Phil rolled over so he was hovering over Nick. He smiled. 

“How did I get so lucky?” Phil asked rhetorically before placing a soft kiss on Nick’s lips.

Nick smiled back, knowing they were both ridiculously lucky for finding each other.

========

**2003**

Nick bursted into the quarters he shared with Phil and two other Rangers.

“Quick Cheese, the Major is headed this way and he looks pissed”, Nick said in a hurried whisper.

“Shit”, Phil spat out as he quickly scrambled to button up his shirt and straighten out his bed. 

“What is he angry about?” Phil asked.

Nick simply shrugged, unaware of what caused the bad mood in their superior officer.

“Coulson! Johnson!”, Major Bell yelled as he entered their room.

Phil and Nick stood shoulder to shoulder, waiting for their S.O. to continue.

“The operation you two were supposed to go on next week, you’re being deployed tomorrow”, Major Bell explained.

“But Sir, we haven’t even finalized the mission plan”, Phil stated.

“We’re working on that right now. I will update you two in a few hours. Trust me, this wasn’t my idea, but the job has to get done”, Major Bell explained. He seemed genuine in his reservations, but just like Phil and Nick, he was following orders from higher ups and didn’t have much say in the matter. 

A few hours passed as their superiors finalize operation logistics. Around 1800 hours Phil and Nick are given the specifics of their mission and it is worse than they thought. 

Not only were they leaving at sunrise the following day, but they would be the only two soldiers in the field. Their back-up would be a few miles away, but if anything went horribly wrong, they were on their own for the most part. 

The mission was the extraction of an extremely rich land owner and businessman living in Pakistan. However, his legitimate business ventures were not the ones bringing in the big bucks, it was the weapons smuggling he was doing for terrorist groups. As deplorable as he was, he had no attachment to the cause and could be easily bought, which made him easy to manipulate and a good asset for the CIA or some other intelligence organization to use.

Nick and Phil didn’t have to worry about all those details, they just had to worry about getting him out of his compound without anyone knowing, especially his heavily armed bodyguards. It sounded simple, but it wasn’t, it was dangerous.

Nick laid in his bed, attempting to fall asleep. They had a long day ahead of them and he knew he needed a good nights rest, but he couldn’t fall asleep.

He could hear Phil tossing and turning in his own bunk a few feet away. 

“I can’t sleep”, Nick finally spoke up.

“Neither can I”, Phil responded.

“I’m too anxious, and….scared”, Nick said in a low voice. “You?” Nick asked.

“Nah, I know you’ve got my back, so nothing to be nervous about”, Phil replied.

Nick lets out a small laugh. “You are such a cheeseball”, Nick teases.

“Yeah, but I’m your cheeseball”, Phil said.

Nick didn’t respond. He simply thought to himself, ‘yeah you are my cheeseball’.

An awkward silence lingered in the air. It wasn’t the first time they had let the awkwardness pass. It was the type of heavy silence that built up when there was more to say, but no one would speak. 

Phil had become Nick’s best friend, there was no doubt. However, there were times when Nick felt like there was something more. He felt that something in the lingering looks, invaded personal space, and quiet moments. 

Whenever Nick’s mind was invaded by the idea he immediately dismissed it. He had been taught to dismiss those thoughts since he was a young boy. 

As a young African-American boy living in New York, he was taught that he was supposed to like girls, and only girls. He learned that having a girlfriend was a requirement for being considered masculine. 

It took him a long time to unlearn those things. He was still working on it. That is why the thought of him and Phil being more than friends was frightening. It is why he still berated himself at times for thinking about him and Phil in that way.

Nick shook his head and tried to clear his mind. He needed to sleep, tomorrow would be a long day.

==========

The extraction went fine….until it didn’t. They had retrieved their target and made it nearly off his property without setting off any alarms, but then something went wrong. Their target’s own private army came rushing out of his house and started firing on Phil and Nick.

They had almost made it to the clearing where their vehicle was when Phil heard Nick fall behind him. Phil turned around, still tightly gripping the arm of their target.

“Shit”, Phil muttered to himself. He dragged the target the few feet back to where Nick was huddled.

“Marcus”, he said in an attempt to prompt eye contact.

Still on his knees, Nick lifted his head. “I’m fine Cheese, just a scratch”, he lied. 

Phil could see the blood oozing between Nick’s fingers as he held his side. 

“Can you stand?” Phil asked in a hurried whisper. He could hear the footsteps of the guards getting closer by the second.

Nick winced as he attempted to get to his feet. He stumbled a few steps before finally steadying himself. 

They hurried as fast as possible to their vehicle. Phil could tell Nick was getting weaker by the minute. He was losing a lot of blood and if he didn’t get the gunshot taken care of soon, well Phil didn’t want to think about that.

“Get in the car”, Phil yelled at their target as he shoved him in the back of the car.

Phil looked up and Nick was using the car to steady himself, he could barely stand on his own. 

“Here, get in the back”, Phil said trying to help Nick in as fast as possible.

Phil quickly got in the driver’s seat. He turned around to their captive, “keep pressure on his wound”. 

Phil drove as fast as he could. They barely escaped, Phil could still hear bullets bouncing off of their truck, luckily none of the bullets hit their tires.

Phil kept turning around to look in the back and check on Nick. Nick’s eyes were getting heavy, his skin was getting clammy, and the blood was spreading.

“Keep the damn pressure on his wound!”, Phil yelled. The target was being nonchalant about helping Nick. 

“If anything happens to him, you will end up in the darkest deepest hole and no one will ever see you again”, Phil yelled.

“Calm….down….Cheese...I’m fine”, Nick said in a breathy voice.

A few minutes later they were out of the radio silence area and Phil was able to contact the rest of their team. Phil immediately got on the radio. 

“We have a soldier down. We need an extraction”, Phil said into the radio.

“Copy that”, the soldier on the other side of the line replied.

“Marcus, we’re almost there”, Phil said, but there was no response. “Marcus? Marcus? Stay with me”, Phil yelled.

Nick had lost consciousness. Phil drove as fast as he could and made it to the extraction point.

============  
Nick’s eyes opened and his sight was flooded with light. He almost immediately tried to close his eyes again. Then he felt….weird. He needed to open his eyes to re-situate himself. 

He looked around and quickly realized he was in a hospital room. Then the memories of being shot and almost bleeding out in the back of the car came flooding back. He also remembered hearing Phil yelling for him to stay awake.

Nick could hear footsteps getting closer. He tried to sit up to see who was approaching, but the stiffness in his side and dizziness from his painkillers sent him flat on his back.

“Hey, hey, just stay laying down”, Phil said approaching Nick’s bedside. 

Nick smiled. He was unbelievably happy that Phil was there.

“Mmmm….did we get that bastard?”, Nick asked.

“Yup”, Phil said with a smile. He sat down next to Nick’s bed. Phil’s smile disappeared after a few seconds.

“You scared the shit out of me”, Phil said in a somber voice. 

“Ah….I was fine”, Nick said nonchalantly with a slight slur to his voice. 

“No, no you weren’t….”, Phil whispered. Then he got oddly quiet. “I almost lost you and...and….”, Phil couldn’t finish the sentence. He stayed silent and reached out to hold Nick’s hand.

They sat there for a few moments, but were quickly interrupted by three senior officers. Phil stood up straight and saluted the officers. 

He pulled his hand away from Nick’s, almost completely, almost. He left his pinky on top of Nick’s pinky. It went unnoticed by any of the officers.

=======  
**Present**

Phil stood up and walked over to the window. 

“Wow what a beautiful view”, Phil said looking out at the few older buildings from the 1920’s and Central Park in the distance.

Nick stood next to him and looked out the window, then at Phil. 

“Yeah a beautiful view”, Nick said.

“Now who’s the cheeseball?” Phil said through a smile and then a laugh. 

Nick put his hand down next to Phil’s on the windowsill. He let his pinky slip on top of Phil’s pinky and smiled.

He never thought he could be this happy.


End file.
